Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Reality. . .

This track is a song request from +Nadell Karatea-Kokiri 

Have you ever been in a relationship where loving each other wasn't enough?  That even when you peeled back all of the layers of that love, it wouldn't  be enough to keep you together, or to plan a life together?  It's an extremely difficult thing to walk away from, because you're unsure whether you will come across a love like this again in your lifetime, whether you've made a mistake and should've just persisted despite the obvious obstacles that threaten the demise of the love (I mean love is built that way right?  It's meant to be hard and challenging and turn your whole world upside down, it's all about sacrifice) or whether you finally accept, that even though it has to end, you can't minimise how much that love will always be a huge part of what has made you the human being who has felt love in this way.  If you can't be who the other person needs in their life - that's just reality. . . 

And love is hard
It either flourishes or it starves
And I would love to give my heart
I just can't pull my trigger in the dark

Well, now we've come to this
We both agree that this love ain't bliss
Oh, but before we cut these ties
There's something I just need to emphasize

Will you be brave enough to admit what it was?  What it is?  And why it can never be?  That high level of vulnerability, laying your soul bare and exposed in such a way that you put yourself in danger of being hurt, humiliated and cast aside - those very real feelings of inadequacy and not being worthy of someone's love (that position of insecurity will follow you the rest of your days if you let it now) but what more can you do?  Have you done enough?  Is it enough to now just acknowledge where you are and just enjoy those memories.  What more do you need to emphasise?

Well, I pray all your wishes come true
And if you're in need, help is offered to you
And I pray for peace, love and prosperity,
And may all your dreams become reality

I will always wish you well, even if at times it might have felt like you were hell bent on hurting me because you were hurting - we really need to stop hurting each other in this way don't you think?  You've always had problems articulating how you really feel.  It makes me question whether you've been honest about your feelings to anyone before - is it really that hard to do?  Haven't you opened yourself up to the possibilities of love in that sense?  You can't only want the good, because sadly the pain must be felt in order to lead you to that eventual happy place.  

I will always wish you the best, because even if you haven't or seemed to deserve it - I think you need to know what having the best feels like so that you can find someone who can treat you the way that you think you want to be treated.  That peace, love and prosperity that you are craving - you had those once with me - but you decided it wasn't enough.  I don't blame you for that.  But don't come running back to me when I have moved on and I'm happy being alone and discovering who I am again in my new life, with my priorities, with my love that is no longer directed towards but now aimed squarely between my own eyes as I gaze into the mirror and affirm the woman I have become.

And love needs pain
Just like the sunshine needs the rain
Without the love shining
All of this water falls in vain

 So wipe your tears my dear.  My tears have long since dried and I will never regret the tears that you have caused and have fallen because of you.  Nothing that I've ever cried will be in vain because those tragic times have helped me to heal, to feel, to reel, to understand that I no longer need to conceal, but now just to be real, and set a seal upon what I now openly choose to reveal - that nobody can no longer steal, or peel or try to set out to an even keel, because you're hot on the heels, trying to catch up to me again, just like the sunshine needs the rain, but you know as well as I that we can't return again, things will never be the same, we need to keep sane, keep running in our own lanes and move past the pain, as long as the thing that is the main, stays moving on that train, of thought that crosses the remain-der of where you now stand.

Now we've come to this
Now we've come to this. . .