Monday, 4 May 2015

Free at last. . .

New Zealand Music Month - Free at last by Adeaze

There is no YouTube clip of this song and it's one of those songs that was never released or paid attention to in terms of it being a single release, but it was featured on an album.  What I love what about this song is the 'worship' feel that it has about it.  I can imagine you sitting there and meditating to this song.  I only stumbled across it purely by accident when searching for more New Zealand songs to be celebrated this month.  If you would like to listen to the song, I invite you to follow me on Spotify and search for me by name or by the name of my playlist ManuScript.  You can find the track there or listen to it here.  The introduction to the song is about 35 seconds long before the first verse kicks in below:

If I question my mind I would only answer myself
And all the answer are all the things I want to happen in the end
I remember a time when I was young and innocent
Mamma told me to pray, Daddy show me the way
Why am I still selfish today?
You'll see me smile, yes you will
my spirit cries. . . 

I think we are never free of the questions of self-doubt that we always ask ourselves.  Often we can feel alone with these swirling questions in our minds because we're afraid to share our feelings and reveal our weaknesses to others.  Trust or lack of trust becomes an issue because well, you've been hurt a lot in the past - some of it would've been your own fault (but you didn't know this at the time) but be that as it may - it was certainly a necessary part of your growth as a human being, to understand how it felt to hurt so that you would know to minimise that feeling in others - that it would deter you from hurting others.  Did it work?

I committed a crime and I'm being punished for it
I've almost lost my kids from the secrets I kept
And I lose the queen of my heart
Just how far will I go before I realise who I'm hurting most
Lord here I stand again, I repent of the sin
Restore me and my home
You'll see me cry oh 
my spirit smiles. . .

It is only when we are on the verge of losing everything that we hold dear - that we finally realise we have pushed them all to their limits.  We didn't realise how much pain we were causing with her caustic ways and the casualties who we intentionally hurt but casually cast aside, because we weren't really thinking about their pain - we were too busy thinking about the next big thing that would help us get to the next stage.  I have watched it often transpire when people became successful and transformed in such a way that they completely erased all of the good things about themselves that they don't realise is good - instead they've filled their heads with questions from people who mean to profit and gain from their talents and good fortune.

Are you at a point in your life where you don't know where you're going?
I believe it's a better choice if you would be truly be open
I'll guarantee you'll feel the weight's been lifted off your shoulders
I know you know it. . .

The kind of freedom that we read about in history books that people have fought tirelessly for, dedicated their lives and sacrificed them as well - all to reclaim the kind of the freedom that maybe on some spiritual level - we can't find the real freedom that we seek.

We are never who we are
We either change for good or bad
Which of these shall rule my path?
Lost in the dark
Or free at last?

I hope that whatever path you find yourself on, that you understand what to do and how to go about continuing on your journey.  You will go through changes - sometimes against your will, sometimes you were all for it, but whatever the outcome, I hope in time, you will be ready to be free at last. . .