Monday, 16 March 2015

Something good. . .

Bic Runga is one of my favourite Kiwi artists.  I can't believe I haven't written a blog post on her before (shame on me!).  Everyone knows who read my blog, I have a penchant for singer/songwriters and she is one of our greats, often touring around the country on winery tours in the summer and gigging alongside Dave Dobbyn and Neil Finn.  A product of the successful Smokefree Rockquest which has produced some of the best New Zealand talents in the Kiwi music industry, it is no surprise that she has been recognised for her skills as a prolific songwriter and musician.  Something good is the focus of this post :-)

I had to teach Something good as part of "100% kiwi musical" entitled For Today written by Hamish Arthur which acts like a trip through New Zealand music history with a typical family storyline of love and laughter and teenage woes.

Just wanna know ya
Just wanna talk to ya
I wanna hear about your day
I'd never leave ya
Never be mean to ya
I'd always let you get your way

Something good will come our way
And maybe this good thing's gonna happen today

It can be quite nerve-wracking trying to tell someone that you want to get to know them and that you enjoy talking to them.  Most of the time I think it's because we worry about whether they might think we're weird for finding them interesting and fascinating to listen to.  Even though the song is primarily pitched as a love song, it could also be interpreted as a song between friends who are starting to get to know each other, notedly when the friends are trying to establish standpoints and perspectives - this is all part of trying to understand each other and finding common ground.  This is important when establishing trust and allowing each other to feel comfortable about how you see yourself in your friendship and how you want the other person to see you too.

I guess that's why I was in the mood for this song today.  I think I'm always in the process of being in a constant state of hope.  It's a great space to be in.  I think that this is what other people are seeing about me at the moment, that despite all of the dramas and hardships that may surround - all you need to know is how sure you can be of who you are - because nothing can take away who you are, unless you allow it to happen.

If I were honest 
I'd tell you everything
But it keeps coming out as lies
It's not a promise
In case you're wondering
It's not some blessing in disguise

Have you found that being honest and telling people everything has always put you in a constant state of flux?  The lies may start because you are trying to protect the 'real you' until you can trust people to open the door to your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable.  It's totally a normal, human need for self-preservation in this sense, because nobody likes to be hurt.  It's also hard then to try to promise to be honest because only you can monitor how that looks and how deep you are prepared to go with it.  Will you allow others to hold you to task on your honesty and tell them everything on demand or will you be more discerning and selective with your 'story'?

I think the older that people get, the more jaded they become.  That's totally natural and normal too.  We wouldn't be able to grow into the dysfunctional adults that we become without being hurt every now and again.  Of course the emotional scars take longer to heal than the physical ones - it's always the scars that we don't see that take the longest to heal.  I often think about when I was a kid and I frequently scraped my knee when I fell over - it was only when the wound was exposed to the elements, by letting it breathe, that the wound healed quickly.  It healed faster than putting a plaster on it.  This thought stayed with me in my teenage years - that sometimes we can't put a plaster on things to fix it - we just need to expose the wound to the elements and let it heal in its own way - with time.  There would always be the danger of infection, but we had to be willing to take that chance and just hope for the best.

I know romance is not in fashion
But my heart is on the line
If you would be so kind
To help me kill some time
Then something good just might come crashing
From the stars that light the sky
If you would be so kind
To help me kill some time

I hope that someday you might find it easy to put your heart on the line.
Every single romantic movie sees either the hero or heroine rush to the airport to stop their potential significant other from completely leaving their lives.  When push comes to shove, would you be prepared to stop the one you would eventually realise that you love - from leaving your life forever?

Something good will come our way
And maybe this good thing's gonna happen today. . . 

For myself, I'm not sure where my heart is at the moment.  And I'm ok with that.
It can be frustrating trying to deal with people's questions (sometimes it feels like demands!) about whether I've moved on or not.  I don't think it's any of their business, I mean, what's in it for them?  Are they offering to find me some replacement?  Tacky, yes.  Necessary, no.  I'm enjoying getting to know people, talking to people, just rediscovering the woman that I am.

Maybe something good just might come crashing from the stars - I just hope that it doesn't blind me or cause any irreparable damage.  I'm just happy that I've surrounded myself with the right people (and they know who they are) right now, to help me kill some time. . .