Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Second time around. . .

This blog post is dedicated to those who are ready for a second time around. . . .

One of my favourite artists from the late 80s was Jody Watley with her single New love.  At the time I didn't realise that she was part of a band called Shalamar, following a successful career as a dancer on Soul Train.  The song Second time around focuses on the notion that you can put your heart on the line again, even after you have lost love.  The first time implied in the song hints at the love leaving them for someone new, but it can also apply to someone who is ready for love again if love has left them permanently i.e. they've lost their loved one forever.

I know you've come a long way baby
But you don't need that heart of stone, no
You proved that you could do it, do it baby
You could make it on your own

But you can't keep runnin' away from love
'Cause the first one let you down no, no, no
And though others try to satisfy you, baby
With me true love can still be found
Love can still be found

I've had some friends ask me about what I write in these blog posts, whether there are some hidden meanings between the lines, whether there is some subtext.  Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't.  Most of the time I write because it just flows quite nicely and I find myself reading what I write as I type but I don't consciously think about what I'm writing about. . . it just appears as words on the screen.

That being said, I also know that my friends mean well and try to suggest that I should be ready to engage in a new relationship, but it can be challenging.  Actually, I've got that wrong.  It's more acquaintances that ask me really, and I'm ok to answer questions about if I'm ready to move on etc.  I'm not sure myself whether I talk about this a lot on this blog, but it is definitely a topic that rears its head more often that I'd like.  I've put it down simply to the fact that people assume that if you've been married before, that you should always be married or with someone - even if you are a widow or recently divorced or separated.  How hard is it for people to know that it's ok to be alone for a certain time?  I'm sure there are people that think they can offer true love - it's not that I'm closed to the idea of love - it's just a matter of - not right now.  I guess I find other forms of love that are sufficient right now - I don't need to have that intimacy of a marriage that I once had to feel complete.  There are other areas of my life that I can explore.  Don't you think so for yourself? 


(The second time around)
Ooh, the second time around is so much better, baby
(The second time around)
And I'll make it better than the first time around

As cheesy song lyrics from the 1970s goes, this verse is definitely guilty of that description.  The cynical part of me thinks - how will you make it better than the first time around?  How would you know?  Were you around during the first time?  If anything, this song is a fun dance song for me.  I like the instrumentation.  When the introduction hits I always imitate the high pitched 'peow' sound from the synthesiser.  I can also definitely see myself doing the 'bus stop' moves that +Te Mihinga Komene taught us at our work retreat earlier this month.  

You know I really love you
And I paid for my mistakes, yes, I did, girl
The more I try to hide my feelings, baby
The old heart gets in the way 
And love won't let me wait. . . 

I hope that if and when you are ready for your "second time around" that you throw yourself headlong into that love affair, that romance, that relationship that will be the love to end all loves.  I think my love is different now, like it's almost housed in a museum in my mind that I go and visit the rooms now and then to reacquaint myself with the moments of love that I have from my past.  That's ok for me, while I focus on other parts of my life that I've neglected in the past - like my health and wellbeing.

I hope that love doesn't let you wait.
I know that love won't let me wait. . . in fact, I know that love will always be there, waiting for me :-)