Sunday, 22 March 2015

I don't see it your way. . .

I've written about Christopher Cross before in previous blog posts (see Ride like the wind and Sailing).  I don't see it your way is an offering from The Secret Ladder, released last year.  I've always been attracted to the lyrics of his songs.  He has an easy way about him with the flow of his music.  The soprano saxophone that features in this song helps to add some textural layers, especially as a counter melody in between the main melody and it also provides harmonic accompaniment in the prechorus sections of the songs with its longer notes.

Call it discussion
Call it debate
Call it two fools shouting at the night
Toxic with anger
Right from the gate
As each of us pretend we know what's right
We can't repair it, it's way too late
Now our hearts are only in this fight

It is always a strain constantly arguing with someone.  It can be draining when you have to always argue with them because this is the only mode they can engage in.  Don't get me wrong, I love to have a great discussion or debate - but it seems like an argument is the only format that certain people can engage in - because they don't know how to have a decent discussion or debate without resorting to making things personal.  I hate those types of people.  How do you deal with them?  The easiest solution when there is no solution in sight or if a relationship is not worth salvaging - is to just walk away.  I have often had to prepare myself with this on occasion, and as challenging as it may have seemed at the time because extrication seemed impossible much like how a surgeon meticulously plans delicate surgery which involves multiple methods and techniques, in quick succession, I felt that I have had to operate (excuse the pun!) in this manner as well.

Love and kindness is the rule
But my darling I'm no fool

I never said you were a fool.  I think I've done as much as I can in terms of helping you.  I don't think you're worth the time and energy anymore.  It isn't fair to me and the way that I am as a person.  The imbalance of how we are lends me to the conclusion that you aren't a person who allows me to "be" anymore.  I can't help the way I am (it's never really been a problem for most people) but if I need to suppress who I really am, if I need to stop shining (as you call it) because you're lack lustre - how is that my fault?  People who know me best, know full well that I do my best all the time because that's just how I'm built.  I run my own race, I battle my own demons - I think you should divert the mirror your way and take a long hard look at yourself.  I'm not responsible for your inadequacies, no matter how much you try to push it on me.

I don't see it your way
I don't see it your way
I don't see it your way
I don't see it your way
Say I'm a typical male
Say I'm an old cliche
But I don't see it your way
I don't see it your way
I'd like to think I'm trying
But I don't hear what you say
Cause I don't see it your way
I don't see it your way

If I were to say you're a typical male and an old cliche - that would be an insult to the other males in the world who have got themselves together and also an insult to the old cliches that actually do resonate and mean something to people - to act as a reminder about how cliches can sometimes synthesise certain situations in life when we least expect them to (or we are at a loss for words and cliches can explain what we fail to articulate).  You think you're trying, that you're doing.  What exactly you're trying to do, what you think you are actually doing - I fail to see that.  What you say and what you do don't exactly match up.

You slap me with silence
I make a scene
We'll see who hits the wall before we're through 
Judge me so harshly, you seem so mean
And saying this of course I'm judging you. . . 

I don't think I'll be slapping you with silence anymore.  You wouldn't be able to handle it.  So instead I will keep talking to you, but it doesn't mean that I trust you.  The way that you behave has shown me that you are not a person who is worthy of my trust anymore and that's a good thing.  It's ecstatically great for me because it's forcing me to face what I was reluctant to see - that even when I can do good for others and be as supportive as possible - that they can misconstrue this and make it about how inadequate they feel about themselves, rather than seeing me for what I am - just a friend.

I hope that you can manage to deal with your own demons.  In recent times you have been a demon for me, gnawing at my thoughts at night keeping me awake and dreading spending time with those nearest and dearest to me with your judgemental decisions.   Good luck with the rest of your life.  I sincerely mean that, even if you don't believe me.  When I say we can agree to disagree, but you even hate that - because for you there ain't no shades of grey. . .