Monday, 5 January 2015

You oughta be in love. . .

I'm a huge fan of Dave Dobbyn.  I think you're not a fan of Kiwi music unless you know him.  I've written about him in previous blog posts (see "Loyal", "Welcome Home" "Language" and "Walking in light" with Th' Dudes).

My best memory of this song is when Loma included it in a wedding video that he created.  He was all about timing - and he timed the "in walks my baby" just as the photo of me stepping out of the limousine appeared when I arrived at the church.  He was creative like that and very meticulous when it came to creating videos and music through his dj samples.

A winning love is hard enough to find
And when you've got, never leave it behind
Hold on, and give it all you have
When it's given back, you'll be a powerful man
And well, here she comes
In walks my baby
Her smile's more than enough to tell me why

I think it's important in love that you give it all you have, so that you can test the limits of your love - knowing how much you can take when it's not reciprocated or you're overwhelmed by how much you get in return.  There is a danger in when one person loves the other more, when one person loves more while the other loves less - that imbalance that is struck can be the beginning of the tensions arising in the relationship and pretty soon cracks start to show.  So what do you need to do to get a 'winning love' ?  Is there some manual you need to read, some course that you need to take, some guru that you need to consult?  I've always liked that idea of the fastest way to know if someone loves you - their eyes light up with their smile when you enter a room.  When your eyes lock and you know that all is well with the world, because you're both in it.

With the headlights up above - you light my way
Safe in my heart, I'll never be lead astray
When you wanna leave the troubled world behind you
Pack up your woes - and worries - and never you mind

The first verse talks about being a 'powerful man' but I think it's more to do with empowering each other with love - that the world becomes less troubled when you both trust each other enough to face things together head on.

But what happens when your woes and worries are caused by a breakdown in communication with your partner?  When you have let things get to a stage where that your love becomes part of the troubled world that you live in.  How can we pack things up then and not worry about it, pay it no mind?  This is where communication is critical.  We sometimes need to push past disagreements aside, push past negative emotions such as blame, denial and the urge to hurt - and move towards acknowledging whether your relationship is worth saving, worth cherishing.

Shouldn't you oughta be in love
Wouldn't you rather be in love
Shouldn't you oughta be in love
Wouldn't you rather be in love. . . 

I hope that if you aren't in love, that you know and feel the love in the best form that suits you and your needs.  I also hope that you find love if you're so dead set against it - because the host of feelings that love brings that is so positive to one's life - euphoria, positivity, confidence, joy and the knowledge that you are loved - is enough to know that you oughta be in love. . .