This blog post is dedicated to +Daphne Papuni
Don't worry Daph, I've got another Luther track in the pipeline :-)
She caught me by surprise I must say
Cause I never had seen such a pretty face
With such a warm and beautiful smile
It wasn't hard for me to notice her style
I was fascinated, surely
She took my heart and held it for me
I wouldn't let her get away
Not until she heard me say
From a Samoan perspective, I have always been fascinated in the concept of dating.
In conversations with girlfriends growing up in church and school, we would laugh about the fact that we don't date. A boy would ask you out and then you would be in an exclusive relationship - and then the dating would commence from there. Of course the purpose of dating is to meet new people, a variety and a number of people, so that you could make an informed choice about who you would decide to have an exclusive relationship with (of course, with mutual consent).
My girlfriends and I would compare notes with other girls from other ethnic groups and talk about what dating meant. As adults we laugh now and reminisce about schoolgirl crushes or incidents or scandals that happened then, but which we find trivial now.
Naturally with my strict upbringing, I didn't have to worry about dating too young or dating at all - it wasn't talked about at home, it was a topic completely off the table and something that we all completely avoided. So this whole scenario of someone noticing me and asking me out was always going to be a challenge. If it wasn't ok with my parents - it was never going to be ok!
Excuse me miss
But what's your name
Where are you from and can I come
And possibly can I take you out tonight
To a movie, to a park
I'll have you home before it's dark
So let me know, can I take you out tonight
When you meet someone new, the same protocols apply when you meet someone new online.
There are the standard questions about your real name, where you're from, how old you are, what nationality you are and what you do for a living or if you study and naturally what you do for fun - with the idea that you can have fun together.
Don't care if I get rejected
At least then I won't regret it
Regret the fact that I missed the chance for romance
At least I'll walk away knowing
I tried my best and I'm going
I'm going on with my day
Cause at least she heard me say
The lesson I learn from this song is the idea of feeling the fear of rejection and doing it anyway.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
It's that never knowing that kicks in with that deep seated regret.
I know some people would rather focus on the fantasy of what could have been - but it's always good to know for certain, that way you can stop obsessing and move on. Speaking of obsessing - have you seen that girlfriend system that focuses on unlocking or understanding each girl's "obsession story"? It's a system designed for guys to be able to date the kind of women they want. be in the types of relationships that they want - and never fail, ever again. I almost stomached the full hour of the hard sell (I don't why I watched it as long as I did!) but the creator of the programme did warn women that they wouldn't like the language he used. Here's hoping that nobody susses out my obsession story haha.
That's why I had to come over
And introduce myself to you
Cause you're never gonna know
Where you'll find love, oh yeah
And hopefully I found it in you, yeah. . .
I hope that if someone asks you out, that you're ready with an answer.
Whatever that answer may be - I hope that he/she doesn't regret asking - it's all part of life and we have got so much life to live :-)