Life has thrown me some curveballs in the past few months and if you're anything like me, then music - listening to it, playing it, composing it and writing about it - have been the only things that have kept me sane enough to be functional as a human being around other human beings (they don't call it music therapy for nothing right?).
While in these days of quiet desperation
As I wander through the world in which I live
I search everywhere for some new inspiration
But it's more than cold reality can give
If I need a cause for celebration
Or a comfort I can use to ease my mind
I rely on my imagination
And I dream of an imaginary time
There's nothing wrong with having an imagination. For most of us, those little daydreams or fantasies when you're working, when you let yourself drift off on a tangent in a parallel universe - helps you to escape the cold reality that you have to live. It's important to have that time out now and then - to leave a problem or issue for a bit before obsessing over it drives you to the point of insanity and the point of no return (I mean let's face it, if you're the rock in your family, who's going to pull YOU back from the precipice?).
If I believe in all the words I'm singing
And if a word from you can bring a better day
Then all I have is just these games that I've been playing
To keep my hope from crumbling away
So let me lie and let me go on sleeping
And I will lose myself in palaces of sand
And all the fantasies that I will be keeping
Will make the empty hours easier to stand. . .
It is far too easy (and somewhat morbid) to wish that sometimes you want people to leave you alone, let you lie and go on sleeping and never wake up - but we all know that's not the answer. You must face up to that cold reality that could the consequences of what you've created for yourself (yes, you made that bed now you have to lie in it). Enter the Sandman while you continue to build your castles in the clouds, to the detriment of you tackling the problem head on. It's like pulling off a band-aid really fast. Short, sharp pain before the healing can begin - it's a necessary process. We must experience to know how we can grow up, build character - and never do those negative things again.
And I know that everybody has a dream
Everybody has a dream
Everybody has a dream
And this is my dream, my own
Just to be at home,
And to be all alone with you. . .
I hope that when you have your dream - that you don't go around ruining those of others.
Whoever you choose to be alone with - with God, with another supreme being, with a loved one, a trusted friend - I hope that they can support your dream just as much as you support theirs.
My dream right now (right this second) is enjoying being at home alone right now, writing this blog to you, knowing that as you're reading these words while I'm writing them - that this is my own dream - to share the love I have for music with the world in the peace and quiet, comfort and security of my own home - to yours.