Friday, 17 October 2014

One more day. . .

This blog post is a song request for Upolu Pouono from Auckland, New Zealand (Aotearoa)

One more day is a track from an album of the same name by Diamond Rio, a Christian-country band.  Their career had a rocky start with a few of the band members having health problems that delayed their debut album release.  This single was quite popular upon its release and rose to further prominence as a tribute song for 9/11.

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you

I've been missing you for a while now.  I try to suppress it most days because I don't see it as being constructive when other people are relying on me to deliver things that they need to make their world function.  But you already know this.  I have often wished for one more day with you.  That last time that we had together was too brief and not a private moment, well . . . not as private as I wanted it to be.

I think when I miss you most of all, that's when I have these crazy dreams and you come to visit me.  But most of the time you visit me through the songs that I hear all the time: the ones on the radio, in supermarkets, in department stores, the ones that people sing as they walk by, the ones that people blast on their car stereos as they speed past and even people humming on public transport as they listen to their iPods and smart phones.

The creative juices haven't flowed as much as I would like them to - especially in the songwriting department.  I think when I was teaching I could use the excuse that I wasn't writing much because all of the creative energy was being injected into the students.  I think now that's not the truth as I'm no longer in a music classroom, but I think from time to time, the music can definitely slow its pace enough that it grinds to a halt.

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone and keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second, Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

You always said don't tell me you love me, show me.
It was one of the greatest lessons you taught me.
Now I think about how I can share that lesson with others, showing how I care for them, showing how I connect with them.  A close friend said to me yesterday that when I'm listening to a live band, I don't socialise with people, I socialise with the music.  He talked about how, if I'm in the business of  connecting with people, shouldn't I be connecting with people in social situations.  I challenged him on that and said, are you asking why I'm not more like you, because you socialise more with people, rather than the music?  The conversation didn't get resolved.  But it made me think.
It made me think, you know what, if my job is about connecting with people, there comes a point when I want to disconnect from people.  Listening to music helps me to do that - to disconnect from the world and connect with myself, in relation to the music.

You always knew this about me.
When I am quiet because we argued, I would be quiet for a reason.
Just as I socialise with music, rather than people, when listening to a live band.
Being quiet means I am being still with myself, within myself, thinking about what you said, what I said, what we said.  How that talking transpires into action is the essence of moments.

People sometimes feel awkward with uncomfortable silences.  I like silences.  I can sit quietly in a car while someone is driving and I'm quite happy for the silence to stretch across the dashboard for the duration of the journey.

One more day, one more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again, I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you

So as much as I would wish for one more day with you, one more day will not cut it.
I will need to live on with the sage advice you gave me that continues to help to sustain me.
The funny things you said which help me to relax and not be so uptight about - because I can't control everything.

I think if I did have one more day with you - I wouldn't tell you a million "I love you's", I would ask you what heaven was like, thank you for loving me unconditionally and then show you how I love you - in a million ways :-)