Ma-V-Elle were ahead of their time - they were NZ's answer to Destiny's Child - before Destiny's Child even burst onto the music scene. I totally admired these three talented songstresses of Pasifika r'n'b/soul - Lavina Williams, Marina Davis and Maybelle Amituana'i - they wrote their own music, did fantastic (let's be honest OUTSTANDING) cover versions of popular songs and performed in the local live music scene before launching their own solo ventures, before reuniting on and off over the years to release new material.
Their song Depend on me speaks to me about the importance of friendship, surrounding yourself with people who aren't there just for the good times, but are there for you at your most vulnerable moments:
When you need a place to cry
I will lend you my shoulder
When there's nowhere else to run
You're welcome to come over
When you need a friend
You know you can always depend on my love, my love
When you're just starting out in a relationship and communication breaks down because something traumatic has happened (or resurfaced from the past), it is words like these above that need to be heard (especially by that angry surly person who is trying to push you away because they're trying to hide their vulnerability and pain from you). So what do you do in that situation? What if you don't have anybody that you can depend on?
The chorus says it all:
You can depend on me
In all your times of need
I'll be the sun shining on you
Give me some time
And I'll mend your broken wings
And I'll set you, set you, set you free. . .
Take comfort in knowing that if you don't have people, or a "go to" person that you can depend on - it will not be the end of your world. You might come to realise that your happiness is not dependent on another person - or people. You just need to find happiness in YOU first.
You have to take yourself out of your situation and dig a little bit deeper to find that inner strength (substance abuse isn't the answer). A little faith in yourself, meditation and finding your own "personal triggers" for happiness are the fastest sure-fire ways to snap you out of that funk.
I'm not saying that friends or people aren't important, They are.
But sometimes I find solace in the solitude too. And that's a good thing.
It's like when I would go to watch indie films by myself when I first started varsity and my friends thought I was weird. I just liked the quiet times too.
For me - that's listening to some inspirational music.
Spending some time listening to some really good music mends my broken wings and sets me free.
Every single time.